TwoTrue

Questions to ask your partner

38 questions from the TwoTrue question bank, in the order we’d ask them: light ones first, deeper ones later. Pick one tonight, take turns answering, and really listen.

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Light and fun — start here

Easy to answer, good for any night. These warm you both up and remind you why you like each other.

  1. What’s the silliest thing we’ve ever argued about?
  2. What’s your favorite ordinary moment of our week?
  3. If we had a free Saturday with no plans, what would you want to do?
  4. What’s a song that feels like “us”?
  5. What’s a date we haven’t done that you’d love to try?
  6. Where would you love for us to travel together someday?
  7. What’s a small thing I do that makes your day better?
  8. What’s your favorite memory of us being silly?
  9. What always makes you laugh, no matter what?
  10. What’s one thing I did this week that you appreciated but didn’t mention?

Everyday connection

A little more personal: how you each like to be loved, supported and heard on an ordinary day.

  1. When do you feel most loved by me?
  2. When do you feel closest to me?
  3. What does feeling “heard” look like to you?
  4. When you’ve had a hard day, what do you most need from me?
  5. How do you like to spend the first ten minutes after getting home?
  6. What part of running a home do you feel goes unnoticed?
  7. What does feeling financially safe look like to you?
  8. What’s something fun we used to do that you miss?

How we handle the hard moments

Asked on a calm day, these make the next disagreement easier — you’ll already know what helps.

  1. When you’re annoyed with me, how do you want me to find out?
  2. What helps you calm down fastest when you’re upset?
  3. After we argue, what tells you we’re okay again?
  4. When things get tense, what’s something I do that helps us reset?
  5. How do you know when an apology from me is real?
  6. What’s one sign that tells you I’m more stressed than I’m letting on?

Going deeper

Slower questions about who you are and where you’re going. Best when you have time to really listen.

  1. When did you first know you could really trust me?
  2. What do you wish I’d ask instead of assuming?
  3. What does “being there for you” look like on a hard day?
  4. What’s a dream you’ve set aside that you’d like to pick back up?
  5. When do you feel most like yourself?
  6. What would bring more laughter back into our days?
  7. What would you most like to be remembered for?
  8. What does a real apology look like to you?

The deep end

Questions couples come back to over years. Don’t start here — they mean the most once the easier ones have built some trust.

  1. In what way do you think being with me has changed who you are?
  2. What do you think you learned about love growing up that still shapes you?
  3. What do you need to hear from me that you don’t hear often enough?
  4. What’s the one thing you’d most regret never doing together?
  5. What did you learn about conflict from the family you grew up in?
  6. What do you most need me to never give up on?

Want the thinking behind it? Read our approach, or browse our relationship guides. TwoTrue is a guided space for growth, not therapy.